Hello World… Spiritual Depth Percept #12

Today May 6, 2012  we memorialized our adopted daughter at age 39.  She was born May 2, 1973. Now she is out of pain, out of addiction, into the joy of the Lord, The Judge of all mankind.

The Word came to my daughter and her brother at the same time. They died nineteen months apart. He was addicted to alcohol. He told me he took his first drink at age 9 and he died at age 36.  His sister, my adopted  daughter, took her first drink with him at age 12  in 1985 and she died at age 38. 

tails: Their Story: They were at their mother’s home, drinking liquor from their step fathers liquor cabinet and no one knew: age 9 and age 12. My adopted daughter came home from a year with her mother and two half-brothers a different child— she was now an adult because her real mother wanted her to know her brothers and spend time with her.  I loved my child and I had let her go into a home that I knew nothing about except her real mother, that gave birth to her, wanted to get to know her and spend time with her and I thought it would all work out for the good. Little did I know that this was the turning point for my adopted  daughter.  She left with me telling her that the phone was always open and so was the door. All she had to do was pick up the phone and call me and I would come get her and bring her home. It was her choice what she wanted to do.  God would watch over her no matter where she was – but she must know that I loved her.

We talked every so often during the year she was with her real mother. Then one day she called and said, “Mama, can you come get me?? I want to come home. I miss daddy and you and my dog. and I need to come home.”  I said, “Are you sure? because if you come home, I won’t let you go back. We are not going through this like a revolving door. I love you and the door is open for you to come home but the next time you leave will have to be after graduation going to college. OK?”  She said, “Yes, come get me.” I went to pick her up and she hugged me tightly and said, ‘I won’t ever do this again.’  I tried to get her to talk to me about what she had happened and all she would say is, “I missed you Mama and I missed Daddy. We are family and I want to sleep in MY bed. Is Daddy going to be ok?  I told her he was happy she was coming home and so was her puppy. We all missed her so much. When she got settled in I saw changes that at first were subtle and not too disturbing. She would have anger for no reason and lash out at the dog. Sometimes she would lash at me and I would put a stop to it immediately and try to talk to her about why she was so angry. It was always, “I don’t know.”  I asked her if she would like to talk to someone about it and it was ‘NO. I can handle it.”  Sometimes I would hear her talking in her sleep and it was always an angry nightmare. I prayed and decided it was just the pain of separation from her real mother again. We had adopted her when she was 4 and she knew her mother. My husband and I had taken care of her a lot since she was born but never permanently until she turned 3.   Mother, husband and 3 kids had moved to Texas. The little girl who had lived with her nanny and me and my husgand was gone to Texas with her real mother. Just months after they left,  her step father had called me and told me he needed me to fly to Texas and get her – he didn’t know how long she would be alive if someone didn’t come get her. He and her mother could not take care of her. They had three kids under the age of 4 and she cried all the time because she missed her nanny and me and her ‘daddy’.  She had called my husband ‘daddy’ since she could talk. Her step-father  told me a horror story about a day he had come home from work and the mexican lady in the apartment across the way from them brought her to him as soon as he arrived home. She told him she had found her drinking out of the pool. She was wearing only a pair of wet panties. She had noticed her early morning and at lunch time she was still at the pool. She had taken her a sandwich when she fed her kids and given her a cup of milk. She said she had been outside all day long by herself and she was afraid someone would get her or she would fall into the pool and drown.
My father and mom help us get up enough money to buy a round trip flight to Texas to bring her home. I flew to Texas, left the plane, got her from them and flew straight back. The lay over was 2 hours and as she and I were flying home I noticed the silence. I asked her if she was unhappy going home with me and she looked up with big eyes, no smile and said, “NO. I want to go home. I want to see my daddy and nanny and papa. She moved her head slightly and pulled a piece of her long  hair across her mouth and said, “I don’t ever want to go back to Texas. I don’t have to, do I?”  She sounded like an adult talking to me. She was only 3 1/2 years old and I realized she had grown up faster than she should have, living with people who had more than they could handle on their plate. I told her she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to and she smiled and closed her eyes and fell asleep in my arms. I prayed – Lord, give me the strength to do what I have to do and give me the strength to stay centered in you Lord. I felt this was the beginning a something larger that I could comprehend and I needed supernatural strenght.

to be continued….


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